The Illusion of Control: What Doctors Can Control (and What They Can't) | Ep61
What if one of the biggest sources of physician stress isn't a lack of control but a misunderstanding of where control actually exists?
In this insightful solo episode of Better Physician Life, Dr. Michael Hersh examines the tension physicians experience between trying to control outcomes that were never fully theirs to guarantee while simultaneously giving away control over the parts of life that actually belong to them.
Using a personal story about a carefully planned family vacation disrupted by illness, Dr. Hersh illustrates how easily physicians fall into an all-or-nothing mindset about control. He explains why medical training reinforces the belief that more effort always produces better outcomes and how that belief begins to break down in real-world medicine.
The conversation moves beyond clinical practice to everyday life, exploring how physicians unknowingly surrender control over their evenings, attention, and family time while fighting battles they can never fully win. Dr. Hersh offers a practical framework for distinguishing between what deserves your effort and what deserves your acceptance, helping physicians reclaim the choices that truly matter.
This episode is a powerful reminder that while you can't control every outcome, you can always choose how you show up for the people and moments that matter most.
About the Show:
Created for physicians who want more than clinical competence, Better Physician Life is a space for honest reflection, reinvention, and reclaiming purpose beyond the pager.
Hosted by Dr. Michael Hersh, each episode dives into the questions we didnā€™t learn to ask in training, offering tools and conversations to help you live and lead with intention.
Three Actionable Takeaways:Ā
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Separate Outcomes from Choices: Not every outcome in medicine or life is within your control. Your responsibility lies in the quality of your decisions, not the certainty of results. Focus on making thoughtful, evidence-based choices rather than trying to guarantee perfect outcomes. This shift reduces pressure and helps you stay grounded in reality.
- Identify the Decisions That Still Belong to You: Even in a demanding healthcare system, many choices remain yours: when you leave work, how you manage your inbox, whether you reopen Epic at night, and how present you are with loved ones. Recognizing these small but powerful areas of control helps you reclaim agency and restore balance daily.
- Replace All-or-Nothing Thinking with Precision: Instead of asking whether you are in control or not, break situations into specific parts. Ask what exactly is yours to influence and what is not. This precise thinking mirrors clinical reasoning and helps reduce overwhelm, allowing you to act intentionally rather than defaulting to frustration or helplessness.
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